The Tongue-tied Simplicity of Wealth Management

The following piece first appeared on Angel Prost’s email project “Newsletter” on December 19, 2022.

Hi friends,

I've just gotten back from LA, and while walking from the train with all my bags and a load of groceries, I received a call from my classmate from high school who I haven't heard from in eight years. Even then, I barely knew him. We only have each other's phone numbers because of a group project in German 200. I decided to answer, he said hello, not sounding like the brace-faced teenager I knew, and after about 90 seconds of small talk (during which I updated him about every single development of my life in a concise manner), he said:

“I’ve been working for Northwestern Mutual for a few years now, and I’d love to have you come on and invest with us, Angel.”

I grinned a big big grin. This was a form of intimacy I’ve never felt-- we skip the niceties (even though niceties are themselves a form of micro-intimacy) and go right on to the Business at Hand. I didn’t have to doubt what he was after, or speculate where this call was going. Here it was, bared in full high definition, and I absolutely wanted to invest with him.

Sometimes, you miss 10 years of a person’s life. And sometimes, that person is actually a perfect investing partner. Why pretend that it’s any other way? Why not invest?

Deception is a valid way of telling the truth, and I’ve learned to adore the Artificia of the world after reading my great uncle Theo’s masterwork The Rainforest Cafe Simulacra [available upon request]. But it has me thinking: is being radically transparent, and hyper-real a way of being Truthful too?

In some ways, plain-speak is like a Jedi mind-trick, where saying a Lie in a manner that sounds like the Truth actually transforms the Lie into being the reality, an inverse-reverse-psychology-self-defying Prophecy. “We will be great investing partners.” Certainly, you’re definitely right.

Is there anything Unreal about distorting reality, proudly? When most people try to cover their tracks, they engage in a sort of cosmic aversion of eyes, cowering behind their eyelids, fearing discovery.

Owning your reality, even if its duplicated, recycled, derivative, stupid, lame, awesome, weak, crazy cool, mega bummer, is grasping your eyelids and throwing them open loudly, excitedly opening the garage door to the inner mechanisms of your Story. On a recent flight, a man sat in the row in front of me, holding his phone two feet from his face, browsing mirror pics of his shirtless self, flexing, showing his gains. His brightness was all the way up, and he made no attempt to conceal the content of his iPhone screen. This, is Transcendental Eye Contact, a staring into the soul of whoever dares witness. This, is true transparency.

David Berman wrote, “I am trying to get at something and I want to talk very plainly to you so that we are both comforted by the honesty.” I’m comforted by this man, simply browsing his photos, admiring his physical accomplishments.

Plato essentially believed that Art was Trickery, a mere illusion of the Real, conveying weak “likeness” and watering down Truth. Poems, music, performance are twice-removed from Reality. Can the effects of art be real then? Even in simple, honest terms? Would Plato hate Frost Children?

By simplifying, we come closer to Truth, further from scary Illusion. No more tricks. Lulu recently shared what an ideal meme looks like to her: a simple frame of Garfield (the cat) wearing a tuxedo, exclaiming “Let’s get this bread.” To me, the simplest perfect meme is a man, with a big sun hat, holding a watering hose pointed at his dog, saying “Grow, dammit!”. I think Plato might have a chuckle or two if faced with that, and start to change his mind on Mimesis or whatever….

When Theseus was addressing his peers for dismissing the "lowbrow" play they were about to witness in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, he said, “Love, therefore, and tongue-tied simplicity / In least speak most, to my capacity.”

I read my US Review of a piece at BAM for a reading last night, and it's a complete mouthful of overlapping B-alliterations. At the end of the first paragraph, I just started to babble, rather than articulate anything. I sunk into the feeling of just going "Baa baa bacghh baab" into the microphone. This felt like the most direct moment I had with the audience. Tongue-tied simplicity.

When you think about it, being an Artist is Wealth Management, wherein the wealth is Vibes. And a music scene is but a Mutual Fund, where we pool our assets together in pursuit of communal growth. And the R.O.I.? Carnal fulfillment.

It took the brutal honesty of my dear friend from German 200 to teach me this lesson. The feeling of being direct with people is a head rush, a High, to me now. My body double Maria debuted her first explicitly-billed "Angel Emoji Body Double DJ Set" while I was in LA. I'm starting to think imitation is wrong. And that it doesn't feel great to be tricked. And that I should Rest in the Real, and Invest into the Industry, and start speaking in signs, surrendering to subconscious Sincerity, babbling belligerently until You Get Me, and it makes sense.

Certainly Yours,

Angel

(P.S., As I finish this email, I've just received a Google Calendar invite for my followup call with Northwestern Mutual on December 28. I can't wait for a prosperous 2023!)

GOOD MORNING, CRUEL WORLD.

a Blog by Angel Emoji Frost Prost

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[archive] The tongue-tied simplicity of wealth management

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